All right, folks, the first debate in the presidential race is coming up in just a few hours. Here are the rock-solid, take-them-to-the-bank, most important predictoins for what the two candidates will throw past one another. We'll check back after the debates to show how right I was.
1. Both George W. Bush and John Kerry will be there on time.
2. An initial handshake will take place, and Bush will try to break off first (Kerry is taller and wants to show it off)
3. Bush will call Kerry a flip-flopper or "wavering" within the first 5 minutes.
4. Kerry will call Bush a flip-flopper or "wavering" within the first 5 minutes.
5. Kerry will call Bush "wrong" at least 5 times.
6. Bush will point out that Kerry voted against the 1991 Gulf War (among other 'no' votes on military issues).
7. Kerry will insist that a change is needed to make peace in Iraq.
8. Kerry will point out that Bush sent troops to Iraq without proper supplies -- some soldiers had to buy their own body armor and walkie-talkies, for example.
9. Bush will tell Kerry to go fuck himself. (Gotta have one that's out there a bit.)
10. Neither candidate will "win," but Kerry will have more zingers overall.
There you have it, folks. You don't need any other predictions. These are all 100% guaranteed to happen. We'll confirm it tomorrow night. See you then.
1. Both George W. Bush and John Kerry will be there on time.
2. An initial handshake will take place, and Bush will try to break off first (Kerry is taller and wants to show it off)
3. Bush will call Kerry a flip-flopper or "wavering" within the first 5 minutes.
4. Kerry will call Bush a flip-flopper or "wavering" within the first 5 minutes.
5. Kerry will call Bush "wrong" at least 5 times.
6. Bush will point out that Kerry voted against the 1991 Gulf War (among other 'no' votes on military issues).
7. Kerry will insist that a change is needed to make peace in Iraq.
8. Kerry will point out that Bush sent troops to Iraq without proper supplies -- some soldiers had to buy their own body armor and walkie-talkies, for example.
9. Bush will tell Kerry to go fuck himself. (Gotta have one that's out there a bit.)
10. Neither candidate will "win," but Kerry will have more zingers overall.
There you have it, folks. You don't need any other predictions. These are all 100% guaranteed to happen. We'll confirm it tomorrow night. See you then.
0 Responses to “Debate Predictions”
Post a CommentLinks to this post
Create a Link