Bugs "Massacred" As Erik Drives Across USA

 

Only a few of the thousands of casualties

-- UTAH, United States of America

ENN has received frantic reports from our contacts in the insect kingdom about "thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands" of merciless killings on the front end of a new Honda Civic traveling from Detroit to Santa Barbara, California.  After tireless research, ENN has confirmed that Erik is indeed driving this very car, and in the process slaughtering countless bugs.

When asked for comment, Erik would only say, "Well, I am having a great time driving across this great country of ours.  What do you mean I'm hurting all these bugs?  Screw them.  They're just jealous of my freedom.  Oh -- and they are the ones terrorizing me.  After all, they keep splattering themselves on my side of the fricking windshield!  Bastards."

Insect rights groups are demanding a full inquiry, but Erik insists he did everything possible to avoid civilian injuries.  "Anyway," he continued, "it's their own fault.  Why can't they figure out that bright, shiny lights are dangerous?  Losers.  Eew, look.  That one looks like mustard!"

Stay with ENN as we monitor the growing rift between Erik and the insect community.  We can only imagine the antics Erik will try to pull now that he finally is in California.  Stay right here for details.  This... is ENN.