Erik Votes, Works to Turn Out Left Coast

-- LOVE HEADQUARTERS, California

The City of Santa Barbara reports that Erik voted by absentee ballot this week, but an exclusive ENN investigation has shown that voting was simply not enough to satisfy Erik's political ambitions this year.

"He was all over the neighborhood," said one aroused Santa Barbara resident who witnessed Erik walking "up and down, left and right, just everywhere" in her community.  "It was about 6 in the morning," she recalled, "and Erik came onto my doorstep and left a John Kerry card hanging from my doorknob.  I was so excited that Erik cared enough about me to remind me to vote," said the woman, identified only as That Hot Girl Over In The Eastside.  

"But then," the woman continued, holding back tears, "he went to my neighbor's house, and then the next house, and the next one....  I thought I was something special until I noticed that he had a huge pile of Kerry doorhangers tucked under one arm."

Erik confirmed the woman's story at a press conference held at Love Headquarters later on Election Night.  "Yes, I remember That Hot Girl Over In The Eastside.  I left her a doorhanger, but she wasn't the only one.  I left my hangers all over town that morning.  And John Kerry carried Santa Barbara, that's for sure."

When confronted with this quote, the Eastside Woman could only reply with, "See?  I mean nothing to him.  And I'm never voting for John Kerry again as long as I live."

ENN was on hand to watch Erik try to find the Democratic Victory Party later that evening, but he had trouble finding the venue in a remarkably ironic moment.  "Where is the Democrats' victory celebration?" Erik asked a white man dressed in a business suit.  The man only laughed and said, "You're too early.  Try coming back in four years.  Hahahahahaha."

Stay with ENN as we watch Erik overcome his Election Day depression by trying to hook up with That Hot Girl Over In The Eastside.