Police Investigation of Love Headquarters Break-In Unsuccessful So Far

Erik's Light Switch After Dusting For Fingerprints

-- LOVE HEADQUARTERS, California

After two pathetic, scared little brats dared to break-in to Love Headquarters at 4:00AM on New Year's Day, stealing some loose change, a pillowcase, five pairs of underwear, and a pack of cigarettes, police immediately began an investigation to "get to the bottom of this ridiculous burglary attempt."

Less than an hour after the break-in, a crack team of CSI investigators arrived at Love HQ and began dusting for fingerprints.  Very few fingerprints were found, although police did confirm that they found "distinct prints from 5 or 6 different hot women in and around Erik's bedroom."

Police investigators are notoriously tight-lipped about ongoing investigations, but ENN has obtained a partial list of suspects under investigation.

Included on the list of suspects is Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern, made famous by the early 90's film "Home Alone."  Also under the microscope is McDonald's spokesperson The Hamburglar.  And, on the instance of Erik himself, Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro "Junichiro" Koizumi is also a prime suspect.

Stay with ENN as we continue to monitor this developing story, and all the top Erik News in 2005 and beyond.