Insect Kingdom Declares "All Out"
War On Erik
--
LOS ANGELES, California
The Insect Kingdom's Secretary of State,
Condoleezza Roach, has issued a Declaration of War against Erik and Honda
Motor Company. The declaration indicates that Erik and Honda have been
accused with war crimes including "the mass slaughter of billions of
innocent insects," an apparent reference to Erik's road trip across the
continent, during which several bugs were seen squashed on the front end of
Erik's sexy Honda Civic sedan.
Roach told reporters at the Insect
Kingdom's headquarters -- right next to Satan's Palace in Los Angeles --
that "this is the second time that Erik and Honda have done this." The
first time was in
2003 when Erik traveled by car from Detroit to California. "Just look
at the photos," Roach continued, "This is inexcusable. We're going to
unleash the most ferocious Africanized mosquitoes that we can find and just
rage on this guy. My roach cousins are already on the way to his
house. Say goodnight, Mr. Love."
Reached at his Detroit headquarters, Erik
has replied only by saying, "I've got enough problems with the
birds trying to
shit on me at all times. We'll be working for a diplomatic solution."
Erik insists that he "didn't do it on purpose. The last thing I want
is a giant mustardy bug carcass strewn across my windshield."
ENN has learned that Erik has requested
assistance from the Jain community in Detroit.
Stay with ENN as we monitor the bug
situation closely.
