Pistons Lose NBA Championship, Blame
Erik
-- SAN
ANTONIO, Texas
Piston star Tayshaun
Prince's shot in the final seconds of Game Seven clanged symbolically off the
rim just minutes after Erik sat down in a Metro Detroit bar to watch the final
moments of the game. The Pistons began a slide into oblivion about
halfway through the fourth quarter, which "coincidentally" was when Erik
arrived in the Detroit area upon finishing a
road trip from
California.
Pistons "Big" Ben Wallace minced no words
after the final buzzer. "F*** Erik. He's a bad fan and had no
business watching the game from Detroit. Where was he last year?
Egypt? And what happened? We won? Exactly. F*** Erik."
A throng of reporters followed Erik as he
left the bar, head hanging. Some eyewitnesses reported seeing Erik and
his friends light an entire book of matches on fire, chanting "Riot!
Riot!" Later, several onlookers saw Erik approach an electronics store,
eyeing HDTV's and looking for additional looters. None seemed ready to
join Erik in gathering free televisions. ENN reporters saw Erik look
even more dejected as he walked calmly away from the store.
When asked to respond to Wallace's
accusations, Erik said only, "It's not my fault. It's the officials.
ConSPURacy, baby!"
Several women seen near Erik seemed rather
upbeat, despite the crushing Game 7 loss for the Pistons. Asked to
explain, one woman who would only identify herself as a "Detroit hottie" said,
"Erik's back in town. I don't care about that loser Ben Wallace -- give
me some of that white chocolate."
Stay with ENN as we watch Erik continue to
bring his special brand of chocolate to Detroit all summer long.
