Posters All Over University of
California Santa Barbara Campus Advertise Erik, Offer Date On Valentine's
Day
A campus message
board features a poster about Erik's lack of a date on Valentine's Day
--
UCSB, California
Students, professors, and random
skateboarders came to the campus of the University of California at Santa
Barbara on Monday morning to find pictures of Erik posted on doors,
lightposts, and bulletin boards everywhere in sight.
Click here
for a full-sized version of the poster as obtained by ENN investigators.
"While this normally wouldn't be a
problem," UCSB Chancellor Henry Yang told ENN reporters at an emergency
press conference, "the posters indicated that the first caller to the
university radio station would receive a date with Erik on Valentine's Day.
Our phone system is still recovering from the overload."
When asked for a reaction to the posters,
Erik would only come out of hiding for a few moments. "Is anyone
looking? I mean I'm used to all the attention, but now that everyone
knows I'm looking for a date on Valentine's Day, it's like a war zone out
there."
One woman who refused to give her name
suggested that Erik actually put up the posters himself. "Clearly,"
Salma Hayek said, "he's just trying to make me jealous. But everyone
knows Erik is going out with me on Valentine's Day, so get over it girls."
An ENN investigation has uncovered evidence
that Erik in fact had nothing to do with the plot to plaster the university
with Erik's photograph and information about The Most Important Radio
Show... Ever. Each poster bore the trademark "K&M Productions, which
ENN analysts fear might indicate a dangerous new alliance forming against
Erik.
"Either this K&M Productions refers to
Erik's two rather amazing (and attractive) friends, Krista and Molly," said
one ENN Analyst, "or Koizumi and Mubarak have joined forces."
Erik has been engaged in a long battle with
Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro "Junichiro" Koizumi, but until recently no
beef existed between Erik and Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak. "K&M,"
Erik said, when presented with a copy of the poster. "Koizumi and
Mubarak. NOOOOO!"
Stay with ENN as we monitor Erik's
increasing ego and notoriety around the UCSB Campus. And the first fan
to email podcast@eriklove.com wins
a date with Erik on Valentine's Day!
